Lindel began, "What's going to happen is I'm going to ask you to put your legs in the stirrups. Then I'm going to need you to scoot as far down toward... the edge of the table as you can. "At this point, she picked up a small item that looked like two sporks joined together. "This is called a speculum. I'm going to need to open you up a little with this so I can take a look. The whole process shouldn't take more than a couple of minutes. If you'd like I can call your mom in here so she can help. . slapping taints?”“I...”. I paused my brain separating the meaning from words. “I don’t have a taint to slap with.”She scrunched up her face. “Doesn’t the whole groinal thing count?” She waved faintly in the direction of her own groin.“Only for women, I think. Well, those with vaginas. Don’t tell Mellie I said women by definition have vaginas. I’ll get lectured about trans-exclusionism or something.”She laughed, “Yes, you will! Fine, are you slapping her taint then?”“I’m not sure I should. More

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