The clandestine lifestyles and repression of earlier times was beginning to end and more gay men were visible and demanding change. Such was the atmos...here that my teenage years had blossomed into. I was doubly lucky to have been born and bred in one of England's largest cities, and as such, a small yet vibrant 'gay scene' had emerged from the darkness that had shrouded my gay elders.I knew I was gay from a very early age. If you've read my previous chapter "My first sexual experience - sucking. I’m so ashamed with my behavior that I can hardly look at her now. But I felt as though I had no choice in the matter. It was as if the natural order of things was being sorted out for me and I was just a passenger in my own body as I did what I did. Look I can’t even admit it to myself. I licked another man’s cum from my wife’s hand. I can’t describe how humiliating that is to admit. I could easily say my wife made me do it, that Brad had made me do it. But the truth is, I did it of my own. More

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