I lifted weights, did pushups, punished my body. Anybody who thinks 2-3 weeks of working out like a dog doesn’t add size is nuts, just ask me. I fir...t lost 10 pounds, then gained 20 back. Yep, in two weeks. I was hurting, Patti was my life, I loved her. I just knew she would come crawling, so I waited. I would get horny and just jack off, I would get out a Playboy but that vision of her with that jerk sneaked in my mind and I hated that, even though that did it for me. Sick and confusing, and. He is understanding, and doesn't push it. He tells me it’s not a big deal if we don’t go further, that I've done enough. I know that he still wants to try, and honestly so do I. I tell myself that tonight is the night, I’m going to do it. I’m going to stop being such a baby, and do this. I know that everything else we've done, I have liked. I can’t see myself not liking this. I want it, maybe more than he does at this rate. So, I’m going to get over the fears! He’s already in bed, reading a. More

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