It must be time for another one of those little author's asides which are so tending to break up the narrative flow round here. I did not screw Linda ...hoesmith. All these sleazy, twee little double-entendres are not my style. If I fuck a woman, I will tell you. You will be the first - or more likely, the third - to know. I repeat, I did not screw Linda Shoesmith.She screwed me. I never had to move a muscle. Quite how she managed to be so ... well ... physical ... with all that lot hanging from. My first sexualexperience with a female was actually my younger sister,but that’s another story. Masturbation, and lots of it,along with sexual experimentation with boyhood friends,was pretty much the extent of my knowledge of sex.By the time I got into high school I had two or three“serious” girlfriends and had gotten to “third base”with each of them, playing with bare breasts and getting“stinkfinger”, but never the home run. I had beenmasturbating,. More

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