Getting online while dishing out faux Italian food the next day, I didn't want the commonplace vibes, dildos nor other clichéd toys that lay conceale... in bedrooms of every orgasm-challenged female throughout the land. Years ago I found Mom's in a well-worn shoebox in her closet with a 'Do not open! Recipes' note taped to it in shaky penmanship. Recipes, my ass! I wasn't fooled because she had read more Kierkegaard than recipes. Her Idea of a four-course meal was mac and cheese with pork and. "What's this?" She asked, quizzically."Looks like a Christmas present to me." I replied, as I began rinsing out the tip on the calligraphy pen."I know that much, jackass." Amy retorted, rolling her eyes at me. She sat on the edge of the bed looking down at it."Are you just gonna stare at it and insult people or are you gonna open it?" I asked."I didn't get you anything else, baby." She looked up at me apologetically."You didn't need to. I just didn't want to give you your real present in front. More

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