Though the women had purposely scaled back most of the recipes, the table still groaned with food by the time the three of them sat down to eat and sh...re in each other’s company. Quite some time later, Rachel put down her spoon with a sigh and leaned back in her chair. “No pie for me just yet.” “Me either,” Chaytan declared. “The two of you are a marvel. Everything was perfect.” Mika positively beamed from the praise and took her husband’s hand. “Our first real Thanksgiving dinner.” He smiled. ‘Stop it! Get off him Valerie! You should be past this sort of thing now my girl!’In that instance I knew what was implied; our activity was not decent.Something precious had been replaced by a guilt complex. It had also induced a deep sense of shame into my sexuality.Much later in married life, I discovered that only a guilt-ridden fantasy of Dan allowed me to climax fully.For me sex was a cocktail which included a shot of Dan and a shot of Shame.But since my husbands death, all that had been. More

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