It's well written. I only found a couple of mistakes. Oh, include his nicknames if you've got room."She took the paper back and said a quiet "Thank yo.... I only had a thousand words, two pages." You guys want to go out to the mall with me? I've got to get some stuff." I can't; Jean's coming over and we're going to do each other's toe nails," said his sister."Will you take me? I'd love to go," Yolanda said, hopping off the bed and slipping on her sneakers and making her second mistake. Yolanda. “Fuck, Bill,” May groaned, pushing her lower body hard against me, “I can feel your prick, it’s so big, so big and hard, is thinking about Janice and I wearing our navy blue ribbed legged cotton schoolgirl knickers making you like this?’’“Yes’’ I croaked, dropping both hands down to the bottom of her gymslip, “I can’t wait to get my hands on both of you.’’Trembling visibly, May asked, “How about I take Janice a drink, then you and I can have some fun in here then we’ll do what we want to do. More

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