I gave up on being with her but still was being driven crazy by lust. In fact sometimes out (and sometimes even pretend to date) just so i could stay...away from her so i wouldn't scare her with constantly touching her. Even though it only took the edge off of the nights i get her in my mind and have to restrain from doing things dreams might allow. The nights i strip her with my eyes and imagine her saying those words she said when i had pressed my hand to her face with worry. Our breaths. Anything "gay" freaked me out. In any event, I was very closeted andrepressed. And very awkward around women I was attracted to, but seemedto be able to make a lot of female "friends."Years ago when I was in my twenties, a female friend of mine, Karen,tripped and fell and cut her chin open. One of her girlfriends, Kathy,loaned me her car to give Karen a ride to the hospital. After taking myfriend Karen to the hospital and getting her stitched up I drove herhome and then drove the car to a. More

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