.” I started. I stopped and tried again. “I’m sorry, but I don’t understand. If you loved me, then why didn’t we work on it together? I don�...�t know why you wanted my forgiveness – although I’d have given it to you anyway, no matter what. Why didn’t you say something then? Why did you just drive away?”I tried to slow my breathing – this had been thrown into my lap so unexpectedly, like a hand-grenade out of the darkness. It had taken so long to get to a place where I was at least okay with the. He layered hours of pain over a big area of my backside and thighs – knowing just how to do it so that nothing was ever ‘numb’ but always burning and throbbing at the peak of roaring pain. That makes it brutal. Just pain for the sake of pain. I suppose that there were some signs about him but I missed all of them, it was a learning experience and I still have a few marks from it. We met in the bookstore, after I blew him through a glory hole he’d whispered that we should meet outside and go. More

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