I would hate to have my picture in the paper for having i****tuous relationships with my son. Maybe we better stop doing that so often. The old lady i... really getting pissed off at us. Michael, come upstairs to bed with me."Mom took Michael's hand in her own and they started walking through the living room. I ran over to them and slapped her arm away from him then said, "Mom, I haven't been laid in over three days since Daddy fucked me early in the morning before he went out of town on. ..penis?"I pretended to be shocked. "Geeze, mom!" I exclaimed and added, "I don't know...I've never actually measured it." Well, don't you have a ruler?" She asked firmly."Not here." I said, "But maybe I can find something to compare it to."Her breathing quickened. "Are you...excited...aroused...now, honey?" Mom, I know it's crazy, but lately I get excited every single time I think of you. Wait just a second."I raced through my apartment trying to find something that could accurately describe. More

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