The God of the Ridiculous must have invented pregnancy. Why can’t I just split in half, like a thing under a microscope? Why me? Why this? They sat,...a few feet apart, but farther from one another than they had ever been, even before they had met. They had been closer, even as children living in different towns they had been closer, than they were now. The thing under the microscope was ready to split. Charles came back to her. ‘I will do as you wish.’ ‘Oh, my love, my dear sweet boy,’ she went. She made me sit down at the big table with a mirror in front of it--avanity, as I found out, where she had all her hair stuff and makeupspread out. "No!" I said. "Not makeup!"She just shook her head, which was really my head, which was still soweird to me. "Of course you have to wear makeup now. Every woman wearsmakeup to a big event like a wedding. But I have to do your hair first.Now no more arguments."I sat there as quiet as I could while she brushed my hair and piled ithigh and sprayed. More

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