Under her saggy belly it was just possible to see a large outcrop of pubes and I cursed the amateurish skills of the voyeur who took the video. I resu...ed my search. Bren had left the TV on in the kitchen and that fucking Nora screeched again and suddenly and idea bloomed.If I could muster a crew of British ‘slebs’, controlling it myself with no outside influence, could I sell the idea to the programmers? The fame culture is rife at the moment – for fucks sake I am one apparently and they had. No one cries when you chop up a bagpipe.Q. What’s the difference between a bagpipe and a trampoline? A. You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.Q. How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch? A. He can throw a set into the middle of a pond and not hitany of the ducks.Q. How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelinblindfolded? A. You don’t have to be very good to get people’s attention.Q. What’s the difference between a lawn mower and a bagpipe? A. You can tune the lawn. More

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