Even goes to church and has a whole moral Christian thing going. The other day she got off on a rant about the new Fifty Shades of Gray movie that ca...e out. Said she couldn’t believe women were lining up to see it and how it exploits women and promotes the mistreatment of women. I thought that was really ironic. See, here’s the thing. Kacey’s sister is pole dance instructor. She’s not a stripper, but a dance instructor. When I was in college, a stripper pole was something slutty girls. And Aunty Maggie told us he’s been like that since he was a kid because they learned the hard way not to give him surprises like the time they gave him a surprise birthday party and as soon as they yelled SURPRISE he ran away and locked himself in his room until everybody left. For some reason I don’t think Mum’s figured that out about Dad. Either that or she keeps forgetting which is dumb ‘cause she’s not so stupid as to keep forgetting something like that. But hating surprises is the only. More

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