Currently the former is winning out, but I have no doubt the latter will return. It does as I check my watch and see that I officially have less than...four hours until my flight. Will the bus be on time? How long will it take the bus to get from the airport? Will the flight be delayed because of the crappy weather? I stride outside, needing fresh air. It’s only sprinkling, the drops tickling my nose. Descending the steps, I lean on the wrought iron gate and sigh. ‘Morning, Rai.’ Startled, I. My grandma always said, ‘God gives us just enough — never too much and never too little.’ She was right. That short time I knew you was just long enough for me to know someone loved me. I think that was the thing that changed me most of all. Knowing that someone had unconditional love for me. And that was what made me finally able to let go and love myself. Sometimes at night I think about the night you died. I cry every time I remember the look on the nurses face, when I knew the end was. More

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