It’s something like Britain ’s Got Talent. I thought I’d give ‘em something totally different. It hasn’t been done before. I’m gonna sing ...nchained Melody naked with my cock on bone. Keep my erection all through the song. Not as easy as it sounds. Takes some doing. Practised it a few times in my flat. I find the best thing to keep my dick hard is to think of Gareth Gates while I’m singing it. I did try thinking of Robson Green but I lost my erection straight away. But Gareth Gates keeps it well. It was occupied by two tribes known, unbelievably, as the Fang and the Bubi (pronounced Boobie. ) The midget knew nothing more about it than that—which he had gleaned from the National Geographic—but the c***dishly obscene sound of the name appealed to him, and he had long speculated on the results of making one typical American urgently, even obsessively, aware of Fernando p*o, "The Freudian implications are tremendous, " he philosophized to himself, over the coffee. "An island that sounds. More

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