Like when you’ve broken your leg and the plaster is on and all you need is a good scratch but you can’t, all I needed was a good shag. I heaved my...elf off the bed, got dressed in a loose maternity dress and waddled downstairs.As I got a coffee and walked outside the neighbour, Mr. Wood, was having his garden cleared up, as I watched I noticed his gardeners were two young lads I thought ‘God I need fucking’. They approached the fence and one said “Can we use your toilet the old man has gone. "Then I had to stop, because she was still blocking the bottom of the stairs."Sorry," she apologized again, getting out of the way."It's okay, squirt," I assured her, turning toward the kitchen. She was still at the bottom of the stairs when I came back with my books and trombone. "If you've got any questions, I'll be in my room."A few minutes later there was a timid tap on my door. I blanked my computer screen - a chick in a bathing suit danced on the monitor.Thinking maybe I should get rid of. More

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