She said, "I miss John so much. I know that I'll never get over him or forget about him, but now, it's so raw. I try to act strong around the kids, bu... it's so hard. The time alone or with Darcy was nice. I could cry, scream, and cuss without worrying. It sounds like the kids had fun." I think they did. At least I know that it was a much-needed distraction for me. What surprised me most was how much better Johnny was since the last time I played with him, and Mary was great as well." John used. To that list as well I had come to wonder about the potential for adding a romantic relationship between us. I alternately hoped and dreamed, and railed at myself for chasing rainbows that belonged to some younger man, seeing the very idea as being perhaps altogether inappropriate. Well, I concluded, my focus had to be elsewhere and my passions held in tight check while attending to other duties… and if something emerged between us, then fine. Being the best man I could be would advance the. More

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