I think it's often that they don't realise how attached to each other they've become until after they break things off. You know the old saying, "You ...on't know what you've lost until it's gone!"Anyway back to my struggles with love or finding the right girl for me at least. Shirley's friend came down to stay for the weekend a couple of times. We made wonderful music together, but I'm afraid there wasn't much in the way of chemistry between us. It appeared to me that I could find plenty of. As much as I try to block these images from my mind, I always find my way back to hating this woman for even existing at all. I know full well that it’s wrong to think such things but I can't help feeling that way. In truth, I hate myself for it. We have agreed to be friends and I am trying my hardest not to break this verbal agreement but I cannot help wanting to push the boundaries either. For my own sick, self-satisfaction, I want to tell him how I still feel and to hear him say that he. More

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