I might weigh about a buck twenty,and at 5'9" I am skinny as a twig. I have always been small, and it makesme fearful in new social settings. I have h...d pretty good reason to befearful in the past; new, small guys who aren't class clown material areat best ignored, at worst beaten and ridiculed. Chad had dismissed me as soon as he saw me. In fact, his admonition torespect his property was the only sentence he'd directed my way. I getdismissed a lot. It's better than getting my head stuffed down. For a while, things got worse and worse - until they started to get better. Slowly and gradually. Without some help from Fainauriel and Bellcauniel I might have lost my mind at some point. I had told them about my ‘normal’ nightmares and, together with those two women, I managed to convince myself that feeling bad about reliving those killings should just prove that I was a good person inside.Maybe. Then, why did I have a feeling that it could have also been mental training that would make sure. More

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