" Dear Santa. My name is SueAnn. I'm from Texas, too, and my boyfriend just can't seem to keep up. I've tried and tried to get him to take his Viagra ...ou gave me last year, but he says there's no skin left on it. If he takes any more Viagra, he'll bleed to death. What am I going to do? I really enjoy it when you let me sit on your lap, but that only happens once a year. Can you bring me something for my problem? I can't wait to sit on your 'lap' again, if you know what I mean. Last year, it was. “No, not even close, angel,” I said. “I honestly meant to maintain my distance, let us be friends, help you out on your way into adulthood...”“And I ruined it all,” she sobbed. “Because I was stupid and romantic and had all these ideas...”“What ideas?”“That if we spent enough time together, you’d decide you NEEDED...” and she sobbed some more.I seriously should have taken a class in consoling crying women, because I could have probably gotten a better idea to use right now than the one I used.. More

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