My Lord! That woman brought “bright-eyed and bushy-tailed” to an absurd level. No sane person is so chipper in the morning.“No time, I gotta pee...” I touched my lips against her forehead as I clamored over her on my way to the lavatory.“Need any help?” she asked as she reached for my genitals.“No thanks, I’ll handle it.” I brushed her hand away and dashed for the latrine.Someday I’m going to have to write a book: Zen and the Art of Elimination. I usually mediated when I took a dump. Hey, we’ve. He could write a complete, grammatically correct sentence. And behold! He was over six feet tall (did she forget to mention she loved tall men?)! “Huzzah!” she thought. But one day passed and he did not send her an e-mail. Another day passed and no e-mail. Day three: skunked again!! Day four was about to come to a close with nary an e-mail from this “Prince” so Caitlin decided to take matters into her own hands:“Dear LustForLife: Why would you put me on your favorites list and then not contact. More

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