I felt so used. How could I love and dedicate my life to a person that had disdained me so? However, what I feeling at that point was nothing like the...anguish I would feel when I opened a separate folder called Instruction. It was entered almost a year ago. I was almost in shock when I read the entry. ******* December 2, 2013Met with Cathy today and told her how boring my sex life had become. I asked her how she and Paul always were so happy together. She shocked me when she said that it was. It was so convenient. We were both very busy. My mother painting pictures, and I practicing music six hours a day and working besides. We had no time for the outside world. Of course I would want to meet a nice girl and marry some day, but how about right now?My mother watched her little boy grow into a young man with satisfaction. I was her ideal man. I could do everything to her my dad could not. She would teach me how beautiful sex is. To abandon myself to the sweet joy of copulation without. More

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