"A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a single bottle of ...errier drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though, and some kale chips."When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to. Nor the really psychotic things most of us would only ever read about in specialist books on sexuality. What I’m talking about are the strange, quirky and sometimes positively bizarre things that really quite normal people need from time to time – as though there is something niggling away at them that they just have to get out of their system. There was the guy who had a thing about condoms, unlike just about every other man I’ve ever met, he actually wanted to wear one – but in a way I’ve. More

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