Without warning she stopped, frozen, and the most amazing feeling surrounded his penis as her vaginal muscles writhed, squeezing and relaxing over and...over again as the sound of what he would have thought was heartbreak was ripped from her throat.But it wasn’t heartbreak. Academically, he felt pretty sure she was having an orgasm, and it was amazing to watch. She leaned far forward, and he saw one of those nipples dangling over his lips. He lifted his head and captured it, sucking hard. Her. ) I wrote it about twoyears ago, and going to the commentary makes me realize how much of aprissy fuck I really was.The comments pretty much boiled down to:* I appreciate the points you made about the quality of writing "But your intro really sets you up for failure."It did. My syntax was terrible, the dialog was flat and so on and so-forth (my main character had three different names.)* There was one in particular by a "Vickie" that hit the nail on the head. The nicest part: "You're so. More

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