“Hmmm! “ murmured Tom, “now, us old guys, when we want a bit of sexual relief go out to the copse of trees on top of the hill behind the village... In the middle there’s an old oak tree with a knot hole at just the right height, go up there where no one can see you and practice.”So, on his wedding night they went to the only place in the village, the local pub.Tom watched them climb the stairs thinking ‘I hope what I told him is O.K.’Five minutes later there comes a piercing scream from upstairs,. She re-entered the room with a perfectly painted mouth. I saw a bowl of unusual looking seeds on the table and said “What is this?” In answer, Pearl said “Candied Lotus. Help yourself.” I began to enjoy the delicately flavored, oval shaped seeds as she made a sandwich for me. She then handed me a plate, and another fresh, cold beer. A moment later, she gently pushed a vase full of paper roses to the side as she sat across from me. I said “By the way, I hear you’re quite the fortune teller!”. More

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