Eileen told me to turn over on my stomach before I could pull my pants all the way off. I was then lying on her bed, on my stomach, with my pants and ...nderwear wrapped around my feet. SLAP! “What the fuck!” I yelled. “That’s not a sound, it’s a verb.” “No,” she shot back, “Look it up in OED. It’s a noun as well. Like in the sound of the water slapping up against the bow of a ship.” She continued slapping my bare ass with hard whacks of her open hand. WHACK, WHACK! “You can call it a verb. What is wrong with you?’ ‘Oh. Sorry. Did you call me like six times last night and hang up?’ ‘What? No way. I came home and went to bed. After being confronted by my mother.’ ‘Really? Somebody kept calling last night and every time I answered the person hung up.’ ‘That’s weird. Did you star 69 them?’ ‘Yup,’ Alexis said yawning. ‘But it was blocked.’ ‘I’m sure it was some guy who lost the nerve to ask you out. Anyway, the reason I was calling is because I need to know what to do with the Jeep.’. More

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