The guard of my dummy was wet with drool, and it feel mushy andsloppy against my lips. I wriggled the amber rubber teat around in mymouth with my tong...e, and when I caught sight of the slimy puddle of spiton the floor of my playpen, I cringed in shame. I wiped it up with theedge of my bibbie, hopefully before anyone noticed. Brenda sat down onthe swinging seat and picked up her drink and her book. "Go on, littlegirl. Let me hear you babble like a happy baby while you do yourcolouring-in," she. For some reason Elaine took serious Irish exception to the call and proceeded to give the ump a huge ration of shit. I couldn't hear her from where I was in right field, but Coach Neivers said it was the best harangue he'd ever heard and she hadn't used one swear word. Coach said he almost fell down when she yelled that the ump should, "Get his ophthalmologically challenged cranium ablated from his gluteus maximus because the trumpery he'd perpetrated was bovine defecation." Stan Hoffman. More

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