And I can’t deny that I play it all over and over again in my mind until morning.I lose privacy privileges again a few days later. I smashed the mir...or in the bathroom and cut a wrist with a shard.I’m not suicidal, but I do have a masochistic streak, it would seem.I tell myself it’s to annoy him, to damage the goods so that when he’s finally used me up and returned me to my father, Dad can see the physical toll.Secretly I just want to see what he’ll do.In the initial minutes, he’s rough with. I went upstairs and debated whether or not to get a shower or just have one in the morning. I decided it would be better to get one now as after working all day I needed it.The shower was amazing but I found myself wide awake for the next hour tossing and turning. I wished that I had brought a book as I seem to fall asleep whenever I start to read in bed.I opened the top drawer of the bedside cabinet next to me looking for a book but the only thing in it was a silk scarf, I put it to my nose. More

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