"She said, "I know this is an odd request that I would never ask you to do if I weren't so uncomfortable. I washed the sand out of my...you know, my v...gina. But my shoulders and arms are so stiff from the three hours of surfing, that I can't reach back to wash the sand out of my anus. I know, I know...this is too much, I'm sorry, never mind."It sounded like she was close to tears, and I said, "I'll help you cousin, and I'll never breathe a word about it to anyone. I promise. I know how. Our GPS was five years old. That may be OK if it’s in your car, but ours is exposed to extremes of temperature and humidity that kill it quickly. I was standing in a clearing with a clear view of the sky and I couldn’t lock on to even a single satellite. Our satellite phone was no better. I’d call the office to complain but the idiot bean counters would probably just bitch back at me about the phone charges and I’d get nowhere. I turned to my partner, Dr. Michael Sullivan, ‘Mike! I can’t get. More

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