"I was wrong, Volker," he told me. "Was wonderful, best Germont ever that I conduct." And he embraced me right there in front of the clamoring crowd.F...rget it that he couldn't conduct crescendi, I had a recognized luminary in my profession telling me—me!—that I'd arrived.Even when it couldn't get any better it still got better. Backstage was so crowded with people clustering around me and congratulating me—other singers, choristers, audience members who'd somehow wangled themselves a pass—that. I hide from her. I hate myself for hiding from her. Do you see a pattern?" Ray joked sarcastically."It sounds like you still have these strong unresolved feelings for your wife. And are guilty over them." She cheated on me." You suspected that she was." Thinking and knowing are two different things. You may think there is a hell. I know there is one. That makes our feelings and motivations completely different. I didn't want to know. Then it was so blatant that I couldn't lie to myself anymore.. More

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