The guilt builds up and conflates with an intense shame.“Boys and men don’t dress up in stockings and women’s underwear and masturbate.” “Wh... does feeling all girlie and effeminate feel so good?”“I must be some kind of depraved pervert, a queer, a fag”. “What would she say, and do, if she caught you?”You start to develop dark imagery of being caught, exposed and humiliated. They fill you with intense fear but, through constant association with the sensual and emotional girlie pleasures you’re. An hour had passed…. And suddenly someone had Come to our room asking for her name….I said that no one was there and I quickly ran out and bought her clothes…. Lucky me no one saw her clothes lying near the bed.That night I slept late thinking that at last Neha is mine. And I went to sleep.Next morning Neha came to my room saying that yesterday was the best sex that she had and she wanted to do it again. She said that life is short enjoy it.I thought about it.That day in the evening I went back. More

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