I realised that I had left this to last because I was nervousabout what it might contain. But finally I opened it. It contained aformal invite to Mumm...'s wedding with (surprise, surprise) additionalinstructions from Mummy. The instructions read: "The chastity device isfor you to wear at my wedding to prevent any embarrassing cock-ups. Isuggest you practise wearing it beforehand. Wear one of the keys on thenecklace and keep the other one somewhere safe at home. Carefully wash andiron your. Perhaps I was sheltered—I was raised by a domineering aunt in Eikenberry Estates, about ten miles from Coldstream Canyon, and I thought the military might have a positive effect on me?but I learned that men can be cruel! The Master Sergeant in Camp LeJeune made the P.E. teacher at the Eikenberry Academy look like Shirley Temple!Sarge thought nothing of taking my pants down on many occasions and whipping my bare buttocks with a discarded fan belt from a Jeep in front of my laughing platoon. More

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