That was part of the problem, well, of my problem. The fact that the crime had been carried out in full view of very senior officers, and also of dist...nguished foreign and British guests, during a Waterloo Ball, was a black mark for the regiments concerned, and meant that the whole book would be flung at Gareth Probert and me. We had brought disgrace onto our regiments by our unseemly brawl, and we were going to have to pay the price.The Judge Advocate at my court martial was a Lt. Col. from. I was a suicide accomplice.Did exposure of my gun ownership, the boasting of grandkids, our mention of reservations at the Bacara push her over the edge? Her husband proclaimed, it was nothing we said or did. I still felt guilty, guilty for a life of betraying her, using her to ensure my superiority. During the funeral service, I vowed to root out those hidden bravados which fed my ego at the expense of others. I didn't need to compete anymore. I'd won life's rat race. I didn't need ego. More

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