As the evening wore on people came and went until eventually it was myself, T and my boyfriend left. T had had too much to drink to drive so she said ...he would spend the night. My boyfriend was tired so went to bed leaving me n T alone in the living room. Ever since the discussion earlier and the evening I could sense the sexual tension between us. As we sat on the sofa talking in hushed voices so as not to wake my boyfriend who was only a few feet away in the next room, I could see T looking. I'm nearly fifty and I need this. I need someone to help me feel alive and desirable. God knows, Howard is a wonderful lover. He fills me so completely and he is so thoughtful with me. I couldn't ask for a more considerate husband. But ... I need more.I've really made a mess of this. I've alerted him to my intention. I've stupidly caused him to doubt me. There is no way I can indulge myself if he is watching me closely. Why did I have to warn him? What kind of fool am I? I've just made it that. More

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