"Sarcastic? Do you even know what sarcasm is, you brain dead asshole?" the Major lectured. "You can' joke about human lives. Even Carrot Top doesn't s...nk that low... jerk." Suddenly, the orange alarm lights began to flash, accompanied by high-pitched sirens telling the crew it was time for suspended animation, a forced sleep that would last two months until our landing.As I climbed into my enclosed sleep chamber, I immediately realized the piped-in egomaniacal stylings of Kanye West were not. It was some time in the late evening that I, dressed discreetly in my robe, encountered Brian in the kitchen doing as young men do half their lives: making a snack. I was eager to see his reaction the first time he saw me. I wasn't disappointed. He seemed to be looking away, not ashamed, but as if to do all he could to suppress the appearance of staring. I even managed to get a small and distorted glance at him in the polished surface of a coffee pot as I leaned forward into the opened. More

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