It was quite normal to go on a coffee date. The Balkan and I lasted for one very trying year. Constant fights were mostly because I was applying the s...me rules of engagement as I would with a man, and it left behind a significant emotional emptiness. Absolutely none the wiser, I read everything I could about women’s sexuality, coming-out stories, and desires. I found some comfort at that time hanging out with a British lesbian couple at their home. One of them recommended shows to watch—L Word. .... emptiness, a feeling that something fundamental to his life had beendenied him. He'd even been pretty sure it had something to do with hisgender, his complete disconnection from anything that could be called"male."But he had buried this pain, covered it over, and tried to keep anyoneelse from guessing its source. He remembered seeing the poster, and for amoment being tempted to at least learn more. But in his own reality, hehad felt a surge of fear, recalling how his father had reacted. More

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