" Nothing wrong with what you wrote," he told her. "But there are some things that need to be presented in a certain way if the story is going to be o... the front page, so I made the changes." I don't quite follow you," she nodded. "Can you show me what you're talking about?" Sure, it's pretty simple," he smiled. "The big thing is to write from the viewpoint of an outside observer, which the reader usually is. It's not 'We did something', but 'They did something'. If you want to say 'We did. Her mouth was warm and wet and she slowly ran her tongue up and down the shaft, grabbing the base with her hand and pumping me in and out of her wet mouth. I sat down on the end of the bed, moved her long hair and watched in the long mirror on the wall as she sucked away on my stiff cock. It felt so good, maybe too good, so I stood up and pulled her with me, grabbed the bottom of her tee shirt and pulled it over her head, as she reached behind to unhook her bra, I unbuttoned her trousers and. More

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