" Unless what Sir?" Unless I try caning you." Oh no Sir. Not the cane!" Yes, Miss. Expulsion or the cane and I warn you it to be fully effective it wi...l have to be on the bare bottom in front of the whole school. Which is it to be? Expulsion or the cane?" Please Sir, neither. I couldn't take a caning and expulsion would disgrace my parents and be worse in the long run." Well, we'll just have to ask your school mates to decide for you." The 'headmaster' turned to the audience. "What shall I do. In short, Sir, food is becoming scarcer and more expensive than oil."It was clear that Alex Salmond understood the basic economics behind this explanation."Are things really that bad?" he asked.A silver-haired man sitting on the opposite side of the conference table chose to intervene at that point."Yes, First Minister," said the Chief Medical Officer. "That bad and only going to get worse." Don't tell me we have a new pandemic to worry about, trust the CMO to bring me happy news," the FM. More

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