It was as if I was ruined for all other men, as dramatic and clichéd as it sounded. I had a sneaking suspicion it was true, too.I hated Patrick Thorn... from the moment we met, but I probably loved him more.As it turns out, I didn’t go running right back to him. The guilt I’d shoved back for my temporary pleasure hit me full blast when I got home. I sobbed in the shower for ages. The worst part was I didn’t regret it. It was one of the most extraordinary experiences of my life, and I just hated. I can’t dream here with this organist and I have to get off this thing because I am so mothering tired of playing by everybody else’s rules— –who gives them the right to make up the rules? Even the most personal? Even the most profound things that live in a person’s bones, and they have no right to take uncaring command of that, why am I playing this tune? Why do my fingers heave and flow above the keyboard keys? Who loves freedom here? Who can sing Janis Joplin’s words about freedom being just. More

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