I could hear the ‘But’ coming from a distance! But… Despite outward appearances, Jim had something of a problem with commitment. I have to get ...his right – as Em insisted I understood it. It wasn’t that he didn’t love her, that they weren’t compatible. But Jim had seen his father walk out when he was ten years old, a complete surprise to him then, and still, that two people seemingly so alike, so in love, so comfortable in each others’ presence, could suddenly decide that ‘actually, we’re a. I no longer had that compass at the back of my mind driving me on to some predetermined life goals. I’d gone into a shell and simply existed for a few months. I didn’t think deeply because I couldn’t bear to.This time alone in the tractor allowed such deep thinking again. I wasn’t in all that pain anymore. What was marriage? Did I want to marry someone someday? I loved my parents, and they seemed to have a pretty good marriage. Their focus seemed to be on keeping the farm going and raising two. More

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