So don't bother trying to pump her for information." No, and you're the only one pumping Shelly around here, Josh." Oh, that's clever sis." And, I sup...ose Shelly dropped a few subtle hints about wanting something nice for her next birthday." Yeah, she did. Lingerie." That figures." So are you going to tell me what you and Todd were discussing?" Well, are you going to tell me what you bought me?" No." Well, then I guess we have an impasse." A what?" It just means that I'm not going to tell you. Her place, and its occupant, were perfect examples of Jerry Springer America--the apartment dominated by a TV, food plates sitting straight on the roughly upholstered couch, beer cans and one of the Left Behind novels visible just under it. While she--how may I describe her loveliness? Fat ass in a too-tight pair of white shorts leading down think trunk-like thighs to bare feet, sloping breasts hanging low over a broad belly under a Tommy Hilfiger T-shirt, stringy bottle-blonde hair and sunken. More

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