There are many more. Have you heard of the kissing disease—mono?”“No, could I give Maria mono?”“Well, say you wet kiss someone with mono. Yo... could become a carrier of the disease and not get it, but not even know it. Then everyone you wet kiss has a chance of getting it.”“Why does life have to be so complicated?”“I couldn’t tell you. It helps keep you from getting bored though.”“I hope I never ejaculate.”“You could have your tube tied.”“Good, I’m doing that.”“Most men don’t want a knife. Next to it, there’s a half-smoked joint in a vintage glass ashtray that I stole from an ex-lover’s apartment. I can’t remember his name, but there’s something satisfying about grinding my ashes into it, even after all these years. Chanel’s Black Satin Vernis (the original, that’s impossible to find) is on the tabletop too. I’ve just painstakingly lacquered my toes while stark naked, perched in the red leather club chair that faces the floor-to-ceiling windows in my apartment. Sometimes I feel. More

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