) The local rag printed a rumor that numerous bodies of children had been found on my property. Their retraction the next week was printed at the bott...m of page of page six, right next to the garage sale notices. Judge Moonbat held another kooky press conference and orders the FBI back to look some more searching, even bulldoze up my entire property, if necessary. They do — and find nothing. A pathetic couple from Indiana with a missing eight year old daughter named Sue shows up at my house and. .. one last thing. Next time, if you don't spank me like you spanked Auntie D., I will definitely call the New York Times and tell them about what a, like, pervert you are. [Another raucous giggle.] Only kidding. [Now very serious, almost solemn.] No joke, Laura... you really opened me up. I... like, I never came like that before. I can't wait until next time. Really. Okay, bye."It was a sweet call, and Laura found herself instantly wondering how she could get to Michigan. But then her thoughts. More

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