As she moved across to wait for her order, I hurriedly supplied the barista with my own, moving to intercept her. I smiled at her, knowing that I was ...uch different now to the last time she had seen me; I had grown to full height, towering over her. My layers of puppy fat had been stripped away in the past decade. She smiled back at me, hesitant, wary of the stranger who was grinning at her like a Jack-o-lantern. I got as far as "Missus Sh-" before her eyes lit up in a flash of recognition.. Be beautiful. Be bashful and giddy and shy and cute. I am deprived of all of this when you are not here beside me where you belong. Every moment I feel like my heart could burst from sorrowful pain. But it won’t. Being apart doesn’t kill you like it should. It should just instantly kill you and stop the pain. But merciless departure only laughs and slowly kills you through smoking and depression and binges. Death comes on soft slow wings. I can not part form you again. I’m awake and I look at. More

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