Not mine. But his.Desire wanting and denied sharpens the edges of his words."You're not," he says. "You aren't really. The story that you tell, it'sju...t impossible. It's just a dream."It's not, I know it's not."It is, it is," he says. "What are you? Why do you lie about what youare?"There is no need to lie, not here, he says. No need for those like us, hesays, to hide and hang our heads and be ashamed -- not anymore. Andanyway, not here. Who do we kid? Behind us, pairs of men dance,. Almost inevitably, the order came to put my hands behind my back to be inspected fully.The inspection did not go well. I had to explain about removing the clamp earlier, admit that I had been wrong to do it, and reattach it - though not before asking for permission to do it. Standing there, naked but for the shoes and clamps, being watched by a stranger and having to ask for permission to hurt myself again, felt ridiculous and humiliating - so why was my body so turned on?Too turned on, in. More

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