On healthier imaginings. The other part of me is happy you no longer suffer. I couldn’t stand to hear you talk about the pain. It made me feel help...ess, the simple words I had to offer seeming insignificant and paltry. The ache is eased simply knowing your pain is forever gone. I smile thinking of you reunited with your daughter. The daughter we all wanted, who left too soon. I can see you both, beautiful and happy, relaxing together in a warm, sun dappled meadow, finally at peace. I don’t. I was weak, and I knew it. Neither of the other options — marriage and celibacy — were reasonable given who I had become and where I was at that stage of my life. Actually, though, that wasn’t quite true. If there was some way for Clarissa and me to be together, I’d probably ask her, and, she’d probably say yes. But that was a pipe dream.“They both said ‘yes’,” Liz announced when she came back into the kitchen.“OK.”“I didn’t mean to upset you before.”“You didn’t, really. It was just my usual. More

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