I wasn't very subtle about any of it. At Tom's, I just grabbed his thigh and said I'd go with him after. Of course, we talked a bit at Tom's and while...he drove, but it didn't count for much. Bless him, though, when we got to his house, before we got out of the car, he said, 'You sure about this?' I said to him, 'What I'm sure of is, I want to take our clothes off, and then I want to fuck. That okay with you?' 'Just making perfectly sure, ' he said." You're right. Not subtle. But nice of him, as. Then I wake up, crying.I dont know what to do about this.I dont know who I can talk to.I know dreams aren't real, but it comes from somewhere, but where?And its not just the dream. Sometimes, I look at myself in the mirror, andI look .... wrong, somehow. I look and I half-expect to see the girl frommy dream looking back at me.And the fact she doesn't is a grief I cant even begin to describe ....I've got to pull myself together, shake this off somehow.I wish I had someone to talk to about this,. More

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