. It's hard to do that," Jonathan said. "It's hard to be ... I dunno, to be so open-minded that you can see past the cloud to the silver lining. It's ...ot just something I can pick up and suddenly start doing." So you're not even going to try?" Christa said."Is..." It ended up sounding more plaintive than he'd intended. "Is it worth it?" Jon, only you can answer that," Christa said. "But what do you think? Don't you think life might be easier if you can look at it from a positive standpoint?. To know he didn't really even know I existed, on a sexual plane at any rate. I would often go home after seeing him, alone, and masturbate to one orgasm after another while fantasizing about Erik - Erik smiling at me, Erik wrapping his big hands around my breasts, Erik, fucking me until I begged him to stop.Eventually my waiting paid off. There was one winter Erik and I spent a lot of time together - I saw him almost every day in fact. He had been laid off from his job, and my school schedule. More

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