’My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.I’m so ugly I stuck my head out the window and go... arrested for mooning.The other day I came home early and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, ‘Why?’ He said, ‘Because you came home early.’My wife’s such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.I know I’m not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.My wife is such a bad cook. In my house we pray after the. ‘Let me see the note from the Gates-Buffet email.’I: ‘Just a request for a private conversation, ‘said Io, sending the copy of the message.A: ‘Well, how about J. Flumby Heartworm, then.’I: ‘He signed it “Jeff.” He just wanted a private chat too. But I think he might have something useful to say.’A: ‘Well, let’s do it.’I: ‘Now? Uh sure ... find yourself a neutral background. I’ll moderate and get it set up.’There was a pause. Twelve minutes later there was a video link ready.“Mr. Harmony? Armis. More

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