So much of pain Shan, these years I've been battling with demons I never knew existed. So many nights I'd cry myself to sleep just wanting to feel who...e, not a shadow. No one could make me feel whole, not boyfriends, not friends, not family. Please don't think you are obligated to do something now I just needed you to know that you give me strength to go on. The strength I need to keep my hopes up that maybe one day I'll find someone else who made me feel that way. I'm sorry if this is too. God was out here, too. I haven’t been very good about attending Mass ecently, and haven’t been nearly as good a Catholic as I should be, but the Lord must’ve forgiven me, because I know he was here, right here on this farm, watching my beautiful Jennifer and me. And then mom turned in the driveway. I don’t know how long Jen and I just sat on the porch like this, it could have been five minutes, it could have been hours. Sometimes, time just seems to stand still. Mom had this mid-sixties. More

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